A Frustration Meditation

As I write this, I am frustrated. Very frustrated. I am in the midst of a work situation fraught with poor communication, power struggles and incompetence masked by “qualifications.” I am being forced to watch some very untalented designers take the lead in a project that I should, in terms of skill and competence, be doing by myself.

Or so I tell myself.

There’s a whole mess of stuff involved here, including insecurity, somewhat objective assessment of the situation, a need to work, and a desire to see the best possible end product. And yet, trying to sort out all of the layers of good and not-so-good motives in this mess is not what I’m interested in.

What interests me is the fact that I want to run away from this frustration, this tinge of anger which is working its way through my psyche. I want to be at peace, to find an inner calm which I believe to be requisite to leading the life I want to lead. I’m sure that you could only agree that this is the path that must be taken. Trouble is, this incredibly pervasive idea is full of shit.

What I want to do, instead, is to spend this negative energy on something positive; on channeling this agitation into creation, rather than expending all of my energy trying to still the tempest brewing in my belly. I think that simply trying to make this feeling go away rather than dealing with it honestly is harmful, counter-productive, and will produce a pressure-cooker environment in my insides that will cause me to blow up in less than benefical ways.

We live in a society that tells us, on a superficial level, to embrace our feelings, but whenever we feel negative emotions, our eyes are drawn to the asterisk and the fine-print which reads positive emotions only. I’m sick and tired of this crap, and my acquiesence to it. I’m pissed off, and I’m going to make something beautiful.

3 responses to “A Frustration Meditation”

  1. You have said what countless others have only thought about, including myself, in very similar situations. I’d be interested to hear the outcome of your re-channeled energy.

  2. I’d have to say that the outcome was mixed in this particular case, but it was definitely superior to the usual route of just trying to ignore or suppress the frustration.

    I’m hoping that it’s a skill which will develop over time.

  3. Don’t worry I understand exactly you are coming from, at my old job I went through the same thing. You just have to remember that sometimes might be out of you control. I had to embrace this concept to have peace in my life. Meditation helps you with this.

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